There’s no business like show business, and when a less-than-stellar troupe of thespians tries to get their act together and take it on the road, there’s comedy in their tragedy.

But the show must go on! And before the curtain’s rise on opening night of their British sex-farce production entitled “Nothing On,” this lumbering cast fumbles through a last-minute rehearsal in which they all suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

With cynical but not completely unlovable director Lloyd Fellows (MICHAEL CAINE) at the helm, the cast is comprised of Dotty Otley (CAROL BURNETT), a faded leading lady trying to grasp one final theatrical hurrah; her youthful co-star and off-stage paramour Garry Lejeune (JOHN RITTER); and handsome but dense matinee idol Frederick Dallas (CHRISTOPHER REEVE).

The Playbill also includes troupe featured player Belinda Blair (MARILU HENNER), whose acclaimed parts have nothing to do with acting roles; and the pert but myopic ingenue Brooke Ashton (NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN), an audience pleaser with a flair for running around on stage in her scanties. Rounding out the cast is Selsdon Mowbray (DENHOLM ELLIOTT), the obligatory star from yesteryear, whose talent for histrionics is exceeded only by his capacity to “tipple” backstage and miss cues. Attempting to keep the show afloat are the much-put-upon stage manager Tim Allgood (MARK LINN-BAKER), and assistant stage manager Poppy Taylor (JULIE HAGERTY).

From rehearsals to opening night, relationships and romantic intrigues in this ensemble rise as their performance-qualities fall, in Touchstone Pictures’ new screwball comedy, “Noises Off.”

A Touchstone Pictures and Amblin Entertainment presentation in association with Touchwood Pacific Partners I, “Noises Off” is directed by Peter Bogdanovich from a screenplay by Marty Kaplan, based on the play by Michael Frayn. Frank Marshall produces the film which is executive produced by Kathleen Kennedy and Peter Bogdanovich, and co-produced by Steve Starkey. Buena Vista Pictures distributes.